The Letter Box

 

 

A quick sketch of me, done by my Grandfather when I was five

 

 

    Let's imagine what "the collected letters of so and so" would look like if email, texting, and social media had existed for hundreds of years.

 

The  Emails and Text Messages of Vincent Van Gogh

 met awesum prosty. she feeds me.

theo. yo. crap... ear still jacked up - c u soon

 

Select Emails from Jane Austen

met this really cute guy. lol. think he lives over the way. gonna tryn c if i can get new frock. am writing new story, i think it sucks. try to call on you l8r!

b in bath in 2 wks. you cum ova?

 

Communications of the Borghia Family

dam pregnancy mite screw up anulment plan

cesare. i hav sum poisin in a ring - will giv it a try?

 

    Yes, this would be laughable. These would not be the somber, the mundane, the poignant, and the sometimes piercing insights we now get from collected letters of various people. There would be no striving to connect emotionally with the recipient of the letter, no one would have bothered to finesse their script, to draft and re-draft a beautifully written and coherent missive. It was almost a craft, and now it's dying out, literally. People are losing the ability to write anything beyond absolute basics, and it's often done with a complete lack of grammar, and a lot of bizarre and unintelligible (to me) abbreviations. It lowers communication skills to that of a poorly educated small child. It makes me very droopy and irritated. Here's a real excerpt from the book Dear Theo, Van Gogh's letters to his brother to illustrate my point:

I got a deeper insight into my own heart and also into that of others. By and by I began to love my fellow-men again, myself included, and more and more my heart and soul revived, that for a time through all kinds of great misery had been withered, blighted, and stricken. And the more I turned to reality and mingled with people, the more I felt new life reviving in me, until at last I met her.

 

 

    It also makes me feel sad that many people, particularly younger ones, have not ever experienced a real letter. Pages full of exquisite food eaten, a provocative book read, how the breeze smells coming off the ocean right at dusk. These kinds of letters.

 

  

   My box of letters and cards is no bigger than a shoebox, with room to spare. I know this type of possession is exactly the kind many minimalists rid themselves of, but mine is small enough, and precious enough, to keep.  It's of no value to anyone but me, but I derive great pleasure from it. I appreciate looking at artwork that someone chose while they were thinking of me, wondering if I would love it, or knowing it was perfect. I am a word child (any Iris Murdoch fans here?) and I savour every morsel of prose in those letters. Of the wishes to me on my sixteenth birthday, the anxious but proud tone of my grandparents on the eve of my trip to Europe alone, my last birthday before I traveled nearly 800 miles away, to where I knew almost no one, to live and learn, and eventually love, marry, and become a mother. My mother's constant acknowledgement of my love for the outdoors, evidenced by pictures of fantastic tree houses, gardens, weeds, or the sky. To me, this box isn't a  box filled with old papers. It's a box filled with the voices of people who loved me even as I was a wee clot of blood inside my mother. It's the calls of my little sisters on hideous Lisa Frank stationary. The chatter across oceans as friends in far away places. This box means a lot to me.

 

A card, also sketched by my Grandfather while in Japan

    When my Grandpapa, an artist, sends me a card with a sketch of his on the front, I find it amazing and delightful to receive such a thing. It sets me to thinking, as I look at the inky details of some horticultural garden in Japan, dated just a few months before my birth. I wonder how he felt about becoming a grandfather. Did he ever imagine that he'd be sending his granddaughter a copy of this little drawing for her birthday thirty years later?

 

 

The last birthday card I received from my family before I flew the coop

    When I was writing this post I found a card given to me by a then-new friend, dated more than a decade ago. That friend is now one of my closest friends, our firstborn daughters are exactly one week apart, we have traveled (and continue to) much of this marriage, motherhood, morality journey together. The card instantly brought back the hours upon hours we sat in the leaded glass windowseat of my rented room and talked until we were hoarse, building this friendship.

 

  I'm not a perfect writer (I do edit - but still make mistakes!) and I do like email, I even occasionally tweet and text, but they don't replace the humble letter or card. It doesn't provide the same type of connection unless you choose to use it that way, and most people don't. It's often just a means of conveying the necessary, which often, to my mind, leaves out the beautiful, the harsh, the fun, the sorrow. I "get" the convenience of e-cards, emails, and texting, I just hate to see it crowd out what I consider to be a more sophisticated and fuller form of communication.

 

How do you feel about the death of letter writing?

 

 

Comments

[maureen173@gmail.com]

Honestly didn't think there'd be a blog post today, but I decided to peek on here and hope. Once again, our minds are on a parallel track. (Perhaps because we just talked about this the other day, but still). I think (and hope I'm not narcissistic and wrong) that the "then-new friend" is...me? The daughters with week-apart birthdays tipped me off. What I think is cool is that those very same daughters ARE enjoying the thrill and anticipation of receiving letters from each other now! It gives me such hope and so much vicarious pleasure to see them forging their written friendship with each other. I hope it continues for a long time, no matter how advanced the I-phones become. Nothing can replace a letter in your mailbox. More later...love you!

[maureen173@gmail.com]

Oh, and the modern version of Van Gogh and company's letters is hysterical. Though I think there would be NO punctuation and the lol's would just run into the rest of thw words unabated. Just sayin. Lol.

[TheSimplePoppy]

Oh Maureen, not everything is about you! Joking! Of course I'm talking about you - the card from you was so sweet and our friendship was so new.

I love that the girls are writing to each other and I'm always amazed by the random hilariousness as well as variety in their letters. I hope when they are our age they are still writing or live closer together! Love you too.

...and yez...u r prbly rite...no punc...lol

[Erin]

I have a few thoughts on your post. Number one. It always boggles in both good and bad ways the way people see me and how this is reflected in the choice of gifts, cards, flowers they give me. Am I a shirley poppy person. Does someone look at shirley poppies and say, that reminds me of you?

Two. I do love a letter, but rarely get them anymore, partially because I rarely write them anymore. I just do not have time. I used to exchange extensive, several page long missives with a friend from college who eventually moved to Prague, but over the years, as I have had kids, these letters have dwindled down to nothing. I don't even know where she is anymore. I miss it, but I also know that I barely have time to get the dishes done, much less sit down and write a five page letter with my deepest thoughts.

Three. I love keeping letters (which minimalist that I am -- LOL -- I do not do) just to look at the handwriting of my loved ones, particularly ones that are gone.

Blogging is kind of like letter writing, no?

[TheSimplePoppy]

Hi Erin! I totally agree with the mind boggling-ness of cards. I once (or possibly several times) received a Barbie birthday card in my late teens from relatives. I kept thinking, "They DO KNOW I'M 19, right?!?!)

I don't get or write many letters either. It's just the way life has become. I don't think I'd have the time to sit and write much either, but then again maybe that's because I don't prioritize it, and I mostly don't because I know I wouldn't be getting any back! People just don't necessarily love to write like that anymore!

Yes, I love looking at the handwriting. And all my grandparents are in their 80's, so I'm not going to have them forever - keeping the cards and letters is a good way to preserve them for me. And Erin, I cannot believe you don't keep letters?!?! I would definitely peg you as a letter saver!

Blogging can be like letter writing; maybe that's why so many do it?

[Katie]

Oh, I so completely agree! I love writing letters and buying pretty stationary. :) Those shortened phrases people use when texting drive me insane. I don't know what half of them mean. Of course there are times when a quick email or text are perfect and useful, but writing an actual letter is special and something people cherish. I too have an old (small) box of special letters from friends and relatives. I still love to pull that box out and peek through. I also believe writing is a skill that needs to be cultivated. I wrote a letter to my mom for Mother's Day this year. It was tough. I enjoy writing letters but I struggle with putting real feelings down on paper. Writing that letter was a great chance to practice. I also write love letters to my toddler son. Those flow a little easier and feel more natural each time I sit down to write. Thank goodness Jane Austen lived when she did. What would we have done without her?

[ladycopper5]

I love letters, and spent several years feeling rather sad that none of my friends or I had any motivation to write any more with email and now Facebook (I'm 26, but used to write to people who lived far away a lot). Finally a few months ago I went hey, I could find new penpals! So I signed up at a site and "met" several people, one of whom is becoming a very good friend of mine despite a decade age difference. She is younger than me and lives across the world but we are very similar in many ways and we both LOVE the feeling of opening a mailbox and seeing a handwritten letter.

I think hand writing letters has a big advantage over emails in another way, in that if you have several weeks between each letter than it is much easier to think of things to say and be thoughtful and genuine and interesting than if you are doing an email correspondence. Most of us don't have such fascinating lives that we can send a great letter to someone every other day or so, so I feel snail mail is a much more natural pace.

And, of course, having the actual paper with real handwriting, stickers or drawings, etc., is great and a priceless way to remember people who have passed.

L

[TheSimplePoppy]

Hi Katie, I don't know what half of texting shorts mean either! I do like email, and I really don't mind texting a little, but it's certainly not special, as you say.

I love the idea of writing letters to your kids; I think I remember Amanda Soule (SouleMama) saying she and her husband wrote love letters to their children on their birthdays - so sweet!

I've always loved Jane Austen. I'm convinced that people who don't like her either don't like to read or cannot grasp how subtle and biting her wit really is. A truly great writer.

Thanks for commenting!

[TheSimplePoppy]

Hi Ladycopper5 (and might I say, a very cool screen name!) I got off FB last year. Email I use and like, FB just seemed like an exercise in pointlessness for me personally.

What a great idea to have a penpal as an adult. I didn't realize they had sites for that - pretty neat. Also, I totally agree about the fascinating lives bit, I think FB and Twitter have proved that people do not need to be communicating every piece of their life: Ate pizza. Constipated. Car broke down. Need milk. Had fight with BF.

Thanks for commenting!

[ladycopper5]

Thanks for the welcome! LOL, yeah, Twitter especially is just not my cup of tea AT ALL. I like FB for some things, but every technology has its limits and disadvantages. With FB everyone can see pictures of vacations and only if they want, with letters they can see my writing and the way it expresses part of me, with Twitter... well, they could see articles I really like, I guess!