Dude, Where's My Natural Foods Store!?

 

 

  Whole Foods just isn't cutting it for me. I'm warning you now, this is a rant/lament.

     The Whole Foods five minutes from my house is located in one of the wealthiest suburbs in the US. As if Whole Food wasn't intimidating enough with its slick and expensive hipness, I have to go and live near one where almost every customer and I are separated by an annual income of several hundred thousand dollars or more. I have more in common with Cajun gator hunters than I do with these people. A lot more in common.

    We drive up in my car, one that was considered a luxury vehicle fifteen years ago but now boasts ripped leather seats and hopeless outdatedness. My children are in day old braids, wisps making a halo around their faces, clothed in an eclectic and slightly filthy mix of handmade, hand me downs, and deep discount; they're like the bright little gypsy girls you see in the Paris Metro, delightfully disheveled, bobbing up and down, hands open like butterflies. No Lilly Pulitzer or Hannah Anderson here, and I'm wearing the same Old Navy jeans I've worn every single day for 6 months.

    I am self-conscious about going there. It is crawling with elephantine Lexus and Range Rover SUVs. Moms are lean and toned due to the personal trainers who work with them while their children attend 30k a year private schools. They come shopping in their insanely expensive Yoga pants, planning their next holiday abroad on their phone during checkout. Every park in the area is packed with the nannies who care for their children and at 4PM there is a veritable exodus of household workers plodding tiredly down the street to catch a bus that will carry them back to West Philly and beyond.

    It's usually tense inside Whole Foods, because a lot of privileged people have privileged places to go and they want you out of their way. Immediately. And they can see, hear and smell that you are not one of them. The difference is palpable, reinforced by ageless class struggles, resentments, and disdain. It's so clear that the cashiers will ask if I really want to buy something if it rings up at an extravagant price, like seventeen dollars for bing cherries, but do not ask those who can obviously afford it. I certainly do not want to spend that much and they know it; the cashiers usually hired are from my neck of the woods.

    Mine is a beautiful life. There's dirt, hard work, grease under the fingernails, laughter, spats, gypsum dust freaking everywhere, toddler talk, sweat, and happiness. I don't wish to live in anyone else's life, nor am I ashamed of who or what we are. I don't want to fit in, but I don't necessarily want to be noticed. I'm a naturally shy person and now that I'm in my thirties and over dyeing my hair the colour of flowers and rocking a septum barbell, I prefer to live under the radar as much as is possible.

     It all makes me very much miss the co-op I grew up in. I miss the customers, who were  an explosion of such variety that everyone "fit in."The woman who actually bothered to figure out what percentage of her taxes were going to support what, and then didn't pay for those she disapproved of or considered unethical. She miscalculated one year and the IRS sent her a "HA HA! You paid us!" letter - she fumed at the register about it. The radical feminist who couldn't understand why we kept taking down her anti-porn flyer that depicted a naked woman bound to a chair (we thought it wasn't, um, kid friendly enough), the enormously tall transgendered male to female who effected this change over years and was gracious when I apologetically got my pronouns mixed up and couldn't remember her female name. And the usual assortment of tiny girls with giant dreads and hairy armpits, Rastafarians, bearded bluegrass musicians, and jocular, butt pinching pagans. It was like going to a circus where Tom Waits was the ringmaster.

    I miss the comfortableness of it. Jokes such as putting the nightly floor sweepings in a package labeled Floor Granola: Dust, oats, mud, dessicated spider...Or the closing time log that began as a way to communicate what we had done during the day but ended up being a raunchy, swear fest of a throw down between made up characters who wrote in impossible dialect. The 5 gallon bucket of homemade bulk tofu people raved over until we weren't allowed to sell it anymore due to "health regulations." The itinerant assistant manager, moonlighting as a puppeteer, teasing me at seven, and deciding that at fifteen I was old enough to be told, in a softly Georgian accent, that boys can't always be believed. All with a fatherly expression, while wearing a yellow baseball hat with silver wings, REM wailing in the background.

  The people who worked and shopped at the co-op mindfully chose a lifestyle that set  them apart from others.  Most embraced living outside the mainstream and their choices were often not the easiest ones. Like feeling that the best way to cut down on your waste, carbon and household, was to bike miles to your co-op, laden down with glass containers, so that you could fulfill your volunteer work for the week and then go bulk shopping. Or to not partake in the status quo of anything, including: gender roles, religion, sexuality, employment, lifestyle, food, consumerism, etc. They were non-conformity warriors. Our co-op and what it represented was what these people believed in; it was never just a place to buy food.  It was a community for those of us who either couldn't or didn't want a place inside the norm. It was interesting and alive and my education. Co-op life was like a souk, bursting with hawkers, vibrant goods, and lively clientele. Whole Foods is like going to the mall.

 

    I miss you, Good Neighbor Co-op. If there's a co-op heaven, I know you're there. Sniff.

 

 

Comments

[jaime]

I totally understand how you feel. The few times I have ventured into WF it has been in the wealthy suburbs of major cities. In Lansing/East Lansing we had a co-op, smaller local chain, an independent natural foods store, and a specialty/bulk foods store. These were all really laid back. They were more expensive than conventional stores, but not as expensive as WF. I miss them dearly.

It is funny you would post this today because I came across this video this morning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU

[TheSimplePoppy]

Ha, my friend sent me a link to that video the other day.We're mutual WF lamenters! I've actually been writing this post for awhile but that video kind of sent me over the edge!
Yeah, nothing in WF is laid back. Plus, you cannot get out of there for less than 50 dollars and I'm pretty frugal. Unfortunately it's super close. Philly does have a volunteer co-op, but it's at least half an hour from my house and with the kids, I often opt out for the shorter drive.

[shona~LALA dex press]

I recently subscribed to your blog and I don't normally post comments like this, but you should stop comparing yourself to the other shoppers. The Whole Foods I shop at (1 of 2 in my state) is 30 miles away, in the second wealthiest neighborhood of this city, in a shopping center with boutiques I cannot afford to shop in, and down the street from a mall with Tiffany's, Louis Vuitton and Chanel... in a friggin' mall! This is a Whole Foods that at times has paparazzi hanging around hoping to snap a shot of a celebrity (which they sometimes do). I park my '96 Olds Cutlas station wagon next to a wide variety of cars, such as the ones you mention + I go about my shopping, in my thrift store/ yard sale clothes, because I am a customer, just like everyone else. Last time I was there I filled 3 bags of groceries for $49 and I the check-out dude commented on this, saying he was shocked at how much I bought for so little and we had a good laugh about the "Whole Paycheck" nickname. My 14-year-old canvas bags are not pretty, but I get .10 off for each one I use, just like the shoppers with the new bags.

My first job, at the age of 14, was in a small health foods store and we were like a family (in fact one of my co-workers was the midwife for my brother's birth). I knew these women for most of my childhood and some to this day. Now I do as much shopping as I can at the family owned store in my town and in the past have donated time at a co-op for my 20% discount. I understand your affection for this type of experience.

Ultimately my point is that if you project tension and that the other shoppers are different from you, then you will experience tension and they are different. When you walk through that door you belong there just as much as everyone else buying $17 cherries. I've had many pleasant exchanges with fellow Whole Foods shoppers and I'm willing to bet that if, given the opportunity, you chatted with some of the people shopping alongside you, you might find that they are not what you perceive them to be.

[Patricia]

I know exactly what you mean...even though we don't have a WF in my town- I still know what you mean! :) (I like to fly below the radar as well)

[Katie]

I just moved away from Lansing this spring and loved shopping at Foods for Living and the East Lansing Co-op! Such wonderful and comfortable stores to be in. The farmers markets in that town are the best too. There's just something special about a university town. I also miss those stores dearly.

[TheSimplePoppy]

Hi Shona, I've actually had several good experiences with other shoppers at WF, and most of my friends shop there as well, so obviously I'm not trying to paint the entire store clientele as above. But I've also had people push me out of the way (with my kids!) cut in front of me, bang me with the cart, and in general be pretty nasty. A friend of mine who is 9 months pregnant just got rammed and her foot run over with a cart - there's usually not an apology. And I have to say, I've been living on the edge of the ghetto for years now and nobody acts like that in the supermarket over here.

I know I have as much right to be there as they do, but if they don't feel that way, I can't help it! I'm actually fairly comfortable there most of the time; I don't feel I go around all tense, but if I get in there and everyone is acting crazy when it's busy, sure I feel stressed. And I absolutely miss going to a place where conspicuous consumption is not generally a lifestyle choice.

[TheSimplePoppy]

Hi Patricia! I just like to sneak in and out like a shadow and do my business! Please nobody look at me!

[Elizabeth McKeeman]

Can I give you a hell to the yeah? How about an Amen and Hallelujah? Witness?To me it's just not a HFS if there isn't a little girl in it who has obviously dressed herself in a multitude of colors and patterns.

[TheSimplePoppy]

Hell yeah! You know what I'm talking about! And I almost fainted dead away the first time I stepped into a natural foods store that had like, two bulk bins! FOR SHAME! How can you even call yourself a one if you got no bulk?!!

[Aminah]

Yup. You pretty much summed up the Wynnewood Whole Foods shopping experience. Did I tell you a few weeks ago I saw some women in her large SUV swipe the front of someone's car in the parking lot? Never park in the front row area, not that you'll find an open spot anyways! Keep away from the Land Rovers, BMW SUV's and Hummers!

[TheSimplePoppy]

Spoken like a true ex-employee! I didn't even get into what it was like, in my experience to work in that area. I've never had a customer abuse me the way they did when I worked in Ardmore and Bala. I would never work in retail again in a neighborhood like that! And dude, I always park on the other side, near that bakery or whatever. That's where all the Hondas, Suburus and me are!

[Meg]

Oh, Terra, this story brought tears to my eyes, it's so beautifully written. I miss those days, too. I'm one of those who "tenses up" in the presence of moremoneythangod attitudes, even back in the days when I was married to someone from a well-to-do family. Where are those places now, where one can just be oneself and regularly see others doing the same? They're nowhere around here.

[TheSimplePoppy]

Oh Meg, I didn't expect to make anyone cry! Though it's a sad thing for me too, wondering if a lot of these communities have sort of disappeared. We're not encouraged to either be ourselves or accept others who are themselves. America has always been considered a fairly individualistic society and yet now, with all the media, social and otherwise, it just seems that people are more and more...the same? It's overwhelming and boring.

[Trish]

I understand where you are coming from - I live in a really rural area, and when I go to one of the more upscale grocery stores, I keep hoping I won't be taken aside and asked to leave. One that really annoys me is an organic megamarket, very expensive. People drive their gas guzzling SUVs from their 'more space than they need' homes surrounded by manicured lawns which are got that way by tons of chemicals, and buy organic food?, sometimes even dandelion greens?

when I visit my sister, in a big city out east, I (country bumpkin from midwest) am really overwhelmed by the agressive busyness of the shoppers. I don't see you as comparing yourself to others, it IS difficult to fit in with people who have different outlooks.

[TheSimplePoppy]

Hi Trish, I actually left out that I had worked in two different natural foods stores in this area, serving the same customers and it was hands down the worst employment experience of my life! When someone employs an army of people like you to clean their toilets, it can be hard for them to relate to you as anything other than a servant. And that's when I quit :)

I grew up in suburban/borderline rural south, and it was and is still overwhelming to me to be confronted by the mad rush of the city. Give me a slower pace anyday!

[Erin Kleider]

A few things here...

First, I would totally see you and think you and your girls looked like people of actual substance.

Second, if you lived in the Bay Area, people would assume you were the wealthiest person in the store based upon the description you gave of your appearance (particularly of your girls bobbing up and down with their hands open like butterflies amidst halos of day old braids).

Third, we have a co-op somewhere here, just not a whole foods...whole foods is overrated.

Third,

[Erin Kleider]

Besides...you write better than them...so ha!

LOL!

Lovely, evocative writing here!

[TheSimplePoppy]

Thanks Erin! I'm not sure whether we look like people of substance or not, but I agree that I've definitely seen less . . . substance-y people than us in my life! Actually, I probably used to be one of those people, but now I'm all matronly ;)

[maureen173@gmail.com]

This is awesome. I'm getting slightly addicted to your blog. Most of all, reading your posts really makes me miss YOU!!!! You summed it up perfectly. Sometimes it's hard to put your finger on something you've lost, because it's NOT there. But there is a vague sense of something missing, and everyone around you doesn't seem to notice. You start to wonder if you yourself are crazy. You forget why you feel so strongly about certain things, even though it ostensibly makes your life "harder" . When someone questions your dietary choices, your birth or parenting style, or why you have a 15 inch TV from the 90's (that doesn't even have cable anyway), or no dishwasher or whatever...for me, at least lately, I have been forgetting exactly why I feel this way and find myself tongue-tied in explaining myself. I know I don't need to explain myself, but still I wish I could convey the sense of wanting to keep things simple without getting looks like I sprouted a growth out of the side of my head. I miss being able to spend time (physically) with friends like you. Guess you'll just have to move here. :)

[TheSimplePoppy]

I'm so happy you're enjoying the blog, Maureen! It's funny, because I don't often talk about a lot of my choices because people always get offended, even when it's a really benign conversation. Yes, we have a 13 inch TV with all the buttons broken off it, no dishwasher; we scrimp like crazy so no cable, no upgrades on anything, no nice cars, DIY everything. I really, really enjoy my life most of the time, and the times I don't are never related to the absence in my life of the newest Apple products, or a pool, car, or cable. I guess I think the best life is a life that is gentle, a lifestyle that incorporates learning into every day with lessons in patience and mindfulness, and filled with goodness, grace, and simplicity. We can make life more complicated, filled with things, both mentally and physically, but I will never believe that brings happiness.