The Simple Poppy

Reverb10 - 17

 

December 17 – Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

 

Well, I think the lesson I learned is an ongoing one. I have to ask for help. I have to learn to ask for help. I should write it a thousand times on a blackboard. I have always, and might always look at asking for help as a sign of being weak. I see needing help as a fail. FAIL!!! But it's only been since I had my second child that I realized that if you didn't express your need for help, you might get left behind, standing on the platform of despondancy, the wind howling, watching the train of sanity pull out of the station. Yes. Asking for a hand isn't a bad thing at all.

 

 

 

photo: http://www.sxc.hu/browse.phtml?f=download&id=1320938

Reverb10 - Days 15 and 16

    

December 15 – 5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

• The explosion of toddler vocabulary, including such hilarities as, "Hold you," when she wants to be held, "Why you NA-ked?" if she sees even bare arms, and when offered something (ANYTHING) to stop crying, a quivery, "I'm happy now."

• My oldest daughter cooking entire meals by herself while I sit by in case she has some questions. It's pretty awesome to get this kind of break once in awhile.

• Getting one of the nicest emails I have had in a long time from my aunt on my birthday.

• The image of The Simple Man planting his horseradish and sweet potato in offensively ugly plastic buckets on the deck while the girls stand by, loving the dirtiness of gardening.

• The feeling I had packing up all our unwanted stuff. Sort of mind blowing.

• Visiting my sister and seeing my nephew for the first time. The chubster that made me an aunt. What a dear little buddy.

• Realizing I can do so much more. Realizing that I can. I simply can.

• Starting my blog! It's tiny! It's all over the place! I've really enjoyed connecting with other people through it this year.

• Hot summer days watching the girls walk around the edge of a park fountain.

• Making some decisions that are a touch anxiety producing, but that might actually turn into our greatest adventure yet.

 

December 16 – Friendship How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

    Actually, I think something happened this year to me while I was supporting a friend through something. I had so much faith in her and it made me wonder if I had that much faith in myself. I started listening to what I was saying to her and thinking, "Could I do this if I was her? Would I trust myself to make a step that big?" Yes, I could and would. And even though I am in no way having the same issues as my friend, I realized how much nicer and supportive I am to others than I am to myself. Corny, I know, but still. Working on that.

 

Reverb10 - Days 13 and 14

 

December 13 – Action When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

    I completely agree. I'm about action. But I respectfully decline doing this particular prompt because while I am a proactive person, I'm all kinds of squirrelly when it comes to talking about what I'm going to do next (if it's major) unless I've already started. That's just asking for the troubles, don't you know it.

 

December 14 – Appreciate What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

    Bravery. Because really, you can't even live your life without it. I tend to be very brave when it comes to something big and life changing, and utterly incapacitated over very small, everyday mundane things. This year I appreciated bravery. I now understand that I don't get to simply be brave over the amazing, I have to be brave over the tiny and everything in between. Also, I have to accept that some people will be frightened out of their mind at bravery and be dismissive, or ridicule, or cry "failure" because they are unable to be brave themselves. I express my gratitude for bravery by trying to make myself uncomfortable as often as possible. And man, you know that isn't hard to do when you're me.

 

 

 

 

photo: http://www.sxc.hu/browse.phtml?f=download&id=1321850

Reverb - Day 12

 

Wee one wanted a photo of her hand.

 

December 12 – Body Integration This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

 

    Firstly, I really don't know how people remember these kinds of things over the course of a year. I'm extremely lucky if I know what happened last week. That being said, I've always felt like my body isn't connected to my mind. Or at least if it is, it doesn't obey orders terribly well.     

    This won't be a wonderfully spiritual moment in which I've felt integrated, but you know, not everything can be dripping with wisdom and symbolism. I know that when I hear what sounds like a really bad accident with my kids, like thumps hurtling down the stairs and bone shattering screams, I switch on; everything feels hyper alert and I'm preternaturally calm as I bound like an Olympic runner to where the disaster has struck. My mind isn't even thinking at that moment, everything is simply working on some primal level. Afterwards, of course, I feel shaky and like throwing up realizing how scared I was when I first saw that pile of tiny limbs at the bottom of the stairs, but at that moment all I did was scoop my child up and assess the situation. I do know some mothers who suffer bouts of hysteria when this sort of thing happens, but for some reason I feel a sort of numbness that allows me to get on with the situation without flipping my lid.

Reverb10 - Day 10 and 11

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

   This is a hard one. This year was strange for me because I felt as if I was emerging from mist I'd been wandering in for a hundred years. The first year of having two children was purely survival mode, but this year has been the figuring out how to be more...more? So I made many, many decisions this year that have and will impact our lives deeply. I think the one I made that I can see how it's played out the most was deciding to go minimalist. It's been months now and at the same time that boxes and bags of unloved and unneeded stuff left our house, I've discovered a gain of more time, more space, and more peace. I can only hope that as we reach our minimalist end point with our possessions in the coming month or so, that it will continue to be as incredibly satisfying and positive as it has been.

    The other good decision I made was a recent one, so less time to see how it works. I decided I needed to limit the amount of playdates, commitments, and other obligations I was saying yes to. It's only been a few weeks, but I haven't felt this free for a long time. Two months ago this week would have been hell for me, but because I cut out the unnecessary, it was busy, but nothing too awful. I'm not going into the weekend exhausted. I felt this really needed to be done and I'm already happy I made the decision.

 

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

 

1. Landline - We've been planning on doing this for some time. We will rely on my very old and plain mobile and Magic Jack for phone calls. I'm so sick of the phone. I realize that many people love being available all the time, but I do not. It feels stalkerish to me and it gets ridiculous because some people begin to panic if they can't get a hold of you within minutes of calling. I already screen all of our calls, but this move will save us money also.

2. Worry - I'd like to actively stop worrying. I want to take care of things and feel that if I did the right thing, I can stop picking my own brain about it. I want to have more trust, rather than thinking of all the horrible outcomes that could happen, trusting that what does happen will end up being alright.

3. Fish - After years of eating some fish every few months, I think I'm not going to do this anymore. I grew up a vegetarian, my  husband also, but he "experimented" more than me and when we married he ate fish pretty regularly. I kind of fell into it, but I've just been feeling recently like I'd rather not. I'm not even completely sure why - it's just my feelings.

4. Fantasies - Rather than wishing something was different in my life, I intend to both actively work towards it as a goal and make the life I'm living right now as awesome as is possible.

5. Being a Fixer - When someone talks to me about a problem, I have one mode: fix it. My brain instantly churns out solutions to this problem, whether they were solicited or not. I acknowledge that this is how my mind works, but I'll no longer be solving things out loud. People don't always want something solved, they just want an ear. Hopefully it will make me a better listener; I also think I'll be less invested in other people's problems this way.

6. Caring - Wait! Before you burst out with a "How could she?!?!" I simply mean that I'd like, no, make that love to get rid of caring about the cruel, snide, selfish, snippy, insane or any other unpleasant things I either know people are saying to or about me. I'd like to be able to take a deep breath and let this roll off me like a happy duck in a happy pond.

 

    I don't think I can come up with any more right now. I'm already behind. I actually feel like I did a lot of important purging in my life this year, so that's probably why my list is short. Had this question been asked of me at the end of last year it would have been a completely different story. I would really like to hear what things you want to give up or get rid of in 2011.

 

Reverb10 - Day 9

 

 

 

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

 

    Eh. I hate parties. After a lot of quarrels early on in our marriage, The Simple Man has accepted this. He doesn't enjoy them either, but he's more polite and thinks we ought to go where we are invited. I have no such qualms, and I'm not even close to ambivalent about it.  If I can help it, I will never attend another party again in my life. I'm going to pressure my daughters to elope rather than have a wedding. I can't even begin to count the times the thought of a party I felt obligated to go to ruined my entire week. And it's everything about parties. The people - overwhelming. I'm shy, it's too much for me. The music - how are you supposed to talk when music is playing? Food and drink - I'm vegetarian and I don't drink, unless you're serving tea or water. Clothes - you mean I have to get dressed in something that matches? Shenanigans? Oh, HELLZ NO. I think I might be breaking out in hives right now. I don't mind getting together with a few friends and drinking tea and eating. In fact, I really enjoy that. It feels comfortable and like family. Anything beyond that and I'm out. Forever.

 

 

 

photo: http://www.sxc.hu/browse.phtml?f=download&id=1287354

  

#Reverb10 - Day 8

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

 

    I'm not too into this prompt. I understand what the purpose is, to love what it is about you that might have once (or still does) set you outside the mainstream and possibly cause you issues, but. . .meh. I'm never sure why there is so much focus on differences. Sure, we are all individuals, but there is rarely (NEVER) a person on this earth that is different in a way in which no one else is, despite what we think when we are teens.

     Since I'm being asked about something that makes me a smidge different I will say that I'm socially awkward. A lot. You probably couldn't exaggerate. But seriously, even though it makes things hard once in awhile, I'm not alone. There are many of us out there. We make you mad, we make you laugh, we give you a reason to point, and we are usually really sincere. Saying stupid and inappropriate stuff without realising it is our way of trying to be friendly and connect. We have to learn to apologize when we see people's eyebrows fly up. Our friends have learned to chuckle under their breath and then pull us aside and give us lessons in how to say things. You know, the little chat about how when someone's loved one dies you don't ask how and then confidently relate all the information you have ever heard on how painful it is, how much blood is involved, and whether the victim would have been a vegetable had they not died. If you have good friends, they give you talks like this and you are grateful. Maybe they go home and laugh about it and maybe they don't. This doesn't actually matter to me. We all have to laugh sometime.

    In the middle of writing this my very good friend called, and I told her about this and she immediately said, "Oh, you stick to what you believe is right no matter what, through anything. I don't think many people do that." I don't know if that lights her up or not (Do I light you up, Z?)

 

 

 

Reverb10 - Day 6 and 7

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin) 

 

    The last thing I made was a library bag as a gift for a birthday girl. That was in July. How sad. I didn't even get a picture of it's chocolaty/lavender beauty because I was running late on account of birthday girl lived an hour away. Yes, did you catch that? I made it the morning of the birthday party.

    Ohhh. Something I want to make. Where to start? This year was going to be the year I was going to PAINT! SEW! BUILD! CREATE! and then I realized that the family's collective possessions needed so much maintenance that I didn't feel I could make time for anything artistic. I'm ending this year and beginning 2011 with a lighter house. And a lot more time for handmade...everything.

 

    A few things I need to make time for? This:

 

   

 

Or this:

And so definitely this hat. Just as soon as I can knit for 5 whole minutes without making a mistake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    I'm also looking forward to returning to silk painting, which has been on hiatus since my last pregnancy, and replacing what little furniture we have and need with something I've made myself instead of Ikea pressed wood.

 

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December 7 – Community Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

    This has not been my year for answering this question. I'm a bit burnt out on community at the moment, though I am absolutely grateful for it, I still need a pause. A long pause. Maybe it has to do with my personal idea of community, but I believe it should be filled with giving and accepting. Which it is. But sometimes the givers are always the givers and those accepting are, well, always accepting.

 

    That being said, I am definitely interested in being more involved in the art and handmade community either in real life or on the net, preferably both.

 

 

 

#Reverb10 - Day 5

December 5 – Let Go.

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

(Author: Alice Bradley)

 

    I let go, almost entirely, of my previous notions of stuff. What stuff I need. What stuff I have to have for the house. What stuff makes me happy. The stuff I've been holding onto because I think it conveys to our rare visitors that we are educated. What stuff I get because I'm worried other people will think I don't know how to "make a home."

    While I have never embraced the idea that more belongings will make me happy, I wasn't critically thinking about every single item that came into our home. I let go of buying on a whim. I let go of buying because it was a "must have" for an artist, cook, decorator, foodie, parent, woman, child, graduate, DIY-selfer etc. I tried to let go of everything anyone, including family, friends, and most definitely in the media claimed was good and/or necessary unless I asked myself whether I needed that item.

     It's hard to fathom how we can put so little thought into the repercussions of having things while we are trying so hard to acquire more. Letting go of the ideas surrounding having stuff has been amazing.

 

Reverb10 - Day 4

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

 

    This was the first year in about 7 that I really got back into taking pictures. I bought a new camera, one that I'm still figuring out how to use, and began to see the interesting, artistic, disgusting, and weird in a new light. I have always been entranced by the idea of imprisoning (lovingly?) one moment forever. It's wonderfully amazing and creepy at the same time. I can completely understand why some cultures would believe that having a photo taken steals their soul. I always avert my face when I'm out in public and I see someone with a camera. The idea of my likeness, a small part of myself, in the hands of someone else, a stranger, is uncomfortable.

    I'm finding it as addictive as ever, snapping a photo and then examining it, being surprised by toes, bugs, trash...anything I didn't see when I was taking the photo because I was focused on something else. This time around I've tried to improve my skills without obsessing or caring about how good I am. And my best friend is a professional photographer, so I am quite aware how...bad my photos can be. The best part of this new habit is looking at the photos with the girls. They immediately become attentive; I love the way they exclaim over tiny furled leaves, silly expressions, soil under fingernails, a wistful glance, the fuzziness of a bumblebee, a heartfelt/strange/funny sign (The one below has been there for 20 years! Reminds me of Kentucky). It's a little ritual with us that after the camera card is full, we empty it and then pore over the results - a look at our family's life minutiae: where we've been, how we feel, what we though was worthy of being captured at the time. I like to see their little faces, inspired by our visual journey. This has definitely been one way wonder has made it's way into our lives this year.