Llama Love, Nature, and Disconnecting

 

    We went away, spending time on a llama farm in West Virginia. The girls had seventy acres of grass, ponds, and streams to explore and they went about it with gusto. There was a lot of rolling around, shrieking, mud stains, and exhaustion. And when I came back I promptly fell ill. With the kind of coughing that lasts all night long and was so intense it produced dry heaves. For two weeks. So apologies - there has been no blog writing or reading.

 

 

    Before our trip I got the book Last Child in the Woods on my Kindle. I've been interested in reading this book for awhile now, but hadn't bothered to buy it, even though it was on my list of books to get. When two bloggers (Jaime and I can't remember the other one) mentioned it in one week though, I felt it was calling to me.

  This book really highlighted for me some of the issues I feel are coming out of encroaching technology, as well as pinpointed others that I hadn't thought of as being related. I mean, like any old person (in today's world, that's about 28 or so, right?) I just assumed young people thought they were information messiahs because they were still at the age where they apparently know everything, despite having experienced...nothing. Louv, though, points out that these children, young adults, and yes, even some of us old people, feel like they know everything because they have access to information, usually by computer. But they don't have experience. He goes on to talk about how people are finding it hard to even teach young people these days because they have not actually done anything hands on; they don't understand the mechanics of simple things because they haven't ever touched them, "These young people are smart, they grew up with computers, they were supposed to be superior - but now we know that something's missing." Ouch. Its a pretty damning assessment of both technology and young people.

    I was enthralled and horrified by this book at the same time. It provided answers to some thoughts I had been having; it also affirmed what I already knew, regular contact with nature does more for any one person and humanity as a whole than anything made by Apple. Here is a selection of my favourite quotes:

 

The problem with computers isn't computers - they're just tools; the problem is that over-dependence on them displaces other sources of education, from the arts to nature. As we pour money and attention into educational electronics, we allow less fashionable but more effective tools to atrophy."

"What I see in American today is an almost religious zeal for the technological approach to every facet of life, " says Daniel Yankelovich, the veteran public opinion analyst. This faith, he says, transcends mere love for new machines. It's a value system, a way of thinking, and it can become delusional."

...[A]s human beings we need direct, natural experiences; we require fully activated senses in order to feel fully alive. Twenty-first-century Western culture accepts the view that because of omnipresent technology we are awash in data. But in this information age, vital information is missing. Nature is about smelling, hearing, tasting, seeing..."

Not surprisingly, as the young grow up in a world of narrow yet overwhelming sensory input, many of them develop a wired, know-it-all state of mind. That which cannot be Googled does not count.

 

     I've been seeing "delusional" thinking over technology lately. People discussing how nothing could ever end or stop the internet, or Twitter, or whatever their personal pet tech happens to be. Really? Electrically supported technology is obviously not independent. Ever heard of rolling black outs? Solar flares? Nuclear meltdowns? Any number of things could stop this kind of technology in its tracks. It seems foolhardy to have the attitude that it is invincible. Even more so to rely upon it so indiscriminately and emotionally. It is a tool that is to be used to its fullest, but can still be lost or broken one day.

    There are many other issues Louv discusses, but it all goes in one direction, less screen/tech time, more nature.  I found myself absolutely agreeing with the almost spiritual way Louv discusses nature, but then again, I belong to what he calls the last generation to have grown up with nature. It's been even more clear to me that I belong to these remnants of a childhood outside now that I have kids. This winter, with its abundance of snow, who could resist sledding on the steep slope across the street from us? Apparently every child in the neighborhood but mine. She was out there everyday. I would look in awe at that bare hill, wondering where the children were. What should have been, in the girls' and my mind, the most awesome thing to happen to kids all winter, was clearly less exciting than whatever was going on inside the house.

 

 

    When I was very young, we lived in public housing apartments built in the middle of nowhere, West Virginia. The apartments circled a playground, which I was allowed to play on unaccompanied because my mother could watch me from our apartment. Behind the apartments were endless cornfields, which I was not allowed to go into, but...ahem, often did. They were forbidden to us, so it was with breathless and retching excitement that we would crash through them and back, experiencing fear and delight at the same time. Later we moved to the city, and my friends and I would navigate the maze of alleys behind our home. Finally, my mom got her garden; we had an acre in the suburbs, and five more belonging to a neighbor to explore. With no television, video games, or computers (I didn't have a computer until college), we were outdoors almost all the time. As I grew older and more attached to electronics, I would often put my cd player up to my open window and then go and stretch out on the driveway so that I could both listen to music and be outside. Even at 19, if it snowed, you better believe I was out there on a makeshift sled. And my mom has the enormous metal mixing bowl dented by my bum to prove it. Indoors was where you were when you had to be.
 

    I've been thinking for months about disconnecting/unplugging. Not from a solely child/nature oriented direction, but also from an environmental point of view, and because I realize that I too, am allowing the pace of my life and day be ruled by these machines. A few things have happened recently that have coalesced these thoughts into a decision: We need less of this. We need most of the week to be a digital sabbatical. Using the computer often makes me feel bad in general; the barrage of information, even if it is utter tripe that I reject, still takes energy from me. I'm not nearly as selective as I should be. It's getting warmer, we need to be outside, singley, together, and as a whole family. And lastly, Japan. An environmental blog I follow even though it is way over my head because the dude is a scientist and I'm not, made a big impression on me. Yes, I've been endeavoring to "go lightly" for years now, but for some reason this post really brought home to me where (mostly) all my things are plugged into. A nuclear power plant. And so, I'm not just talking about limiting my tech time, but also greatly reducing our electricity usage.

 

    I don't really know what this is going to look like. I do know that I'm pretty committed to unplugging everything (except the fridge, because I can't figure that out logistically at the moment) until it needs to be used. On restricting other things such as Netflix and computer time; that has to be worked out. And I'm going to take my monkeys outside, even though the streams in Philly smell like the sewer.

    How do you all feel about nature vs. technology? Does your life have a balance of both or are you biased in one direction?

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Aminah]

I agree with everything you feel (but you already know that!)I grew up in the Pacific NW. We used to camp in the middle of nowhere, bath in a mountain stream and have to bury our own shit. So I know about "being indoors was where you were when you had to be" real well. Although, my parents did allow me to sleep outside often in the yard on lawn furniture, even once on the roof, and once in a cardboard refrigerator box we made into a 'home, so even darkness didn't stop me from having to come inside. I really want my son (and future child(ren) to know and experience nature the way I did, or at least close to it. But like you said, our generation might be the last one to really know nature. I also never owned a computer until I was in college. Heck, before that my only computer time was at school on cold days playing Oregon Trail and having my family die of famine!

One of my challenges is the MR. who likes his TV, cable, games, etc. Would never agree to these terms. I will give him credit though for allowing me to participate in Earth Hour a couple weeks ago. If it wasn't for him, I doubt any of these things would ever get used. Technology is great, when used in moderation for sure. I like using the computer to learn about new things, or reading blogs, or watch a movie. But when I see it's sucked up 2 hours on a beautiful sunny day, then I feel like I've missed out on something.

[Patricia]

I've been following your blog for awhile now- and every post I think "I could have written that" (well, I couldn't because I'm a lousy writer but I could because it's exactly what I think as well). And yet again reading this I feel the same way. I'm almost a hypocrite in wanting less technology, yet using it every day as well. When I was growing up in the 70's, I was outside every day, rain or shine, winter, spring, autumn, summer. In winter I went ice skating every single day. As soon a school was over we went down the street to "the park" (a flooded tennis court)to skate til mom's started calling the kids in for supper. After supper we were back out til mom's started calling us in around 8pm to get ready for bed. Every day. We often spent hours "walking the snow banks" (which we got in trouble for if someone's mom caught us and told the other mom's). In summer we biked all day, every day. We had nowhere to go- we just DID. In summer, my mother expected me to leave the house with a sandwich and not return til supper time. I can also remember hours of stuff like making furniture out of twigs for fairy's, and laying on the ground reading for hours, or, oddly, picking the delicate little flowers off of lilac bushes and sucking the sweet juice out of the end. Anyway- I've just ordered the book you referred to in this article and I think you're right. I need to get my kids out more- having a childhood more in line with what I had. If you give up blogging (hopefully not) will you be my snail mail pen pal? ;)

[Patricia]

PS- I never owned a computer til I was 25 and married (it was a wedding gift from my parents.) We used word processors in college- though you could use the computer lab and print papers using a dot matrix printer. It goes to show how fast technology zips along- I'm only 40.

[TheSimplePoppy]

AAAHHH! Aminah! I was going to say that my only experience on the computer before college was playing Oregon Trail in elementary school! How funny to think that we were there together, across the country from each other, each slowly killing our virtual families through inept planning!

I think that this can be done with happy compromises. We can't keep our partners from wanting to do certain things, but we CAN have agreements with them about how to raise the kids. It's part of the reason I haven't figured out how it's going to look for us yet. I'm not wishing to deprive The Simple Man, but I know he feels the same way as I do about the kids' screen time/nature play. I feel confident that we can work something out.

That being said, I do like the computer. I find great resources on it (as you know) and inspiration. I don't intend to stop using it - I just feel that if I put a pretty restricted time limit on it than I will truly enjoy what I use it for rather than surfing around aimlessly when I'm tired.

[TheSimplePoppy]

Hi Patricia, thanks for reading and commenting. I know what you mean about feeling like a hyprocrite because I do really love the computer and other tech stuff, I just realize that I'm not doing a good job of keeping it a tool. We live in a heavily urban area and I know I've used that as a mental excuse to not take my girls out as much, but after reading this book and thinking about my own childhood, I've come to understand that it's really more important than almost anything else they could be doing in the house.

I don't plan on giving up blogging, I do like it - so no worries about that. Feel free to always email me if you want!

[TheSimplePoppy]

Yes, it was in a computer lab with dot printers that I learned how to work email and the internet and I'm 33!

[jaime]

I'm happy to see you are back and feeling better.

This time of year always gets me thinking about these issues. Like everyone else, I spent the majority of my youth outside. I did not have a computer until I went to college, and I did not even regularly use the internet until I went to grad school. Ten years later, I find myself relying more and more on technology for entertainment, connection, and information. It is something that I struggle with. I know that we will never be a screen free home (my husband is a gamer), but I would like to cut down on the TV. I feel like we let our son watch far too much TV. We also take him outside and play with him, and give him time to play by himself, but we do let him watch movies and some PBS shows in the morning. Mostly I am concerned because I feel like my son does not like being outside. He seems lost and disinterested. Now I am willing to concede that this may just be his personality, but I think it also has to do with him not having much time to play outside in the past die to our living arrangements. Since being at a place with our own yard, it has been easier to get in the hour outside time a day. But 60 minutes of outside activity does not seem like enough to me. I want my so to enjoy being outside and exploring his natural surroundings. I realize that some of it is my own fears - as Louv points out in the book - that Carter will get hurt and it will be my fault my being negligent in some way. I know there is always a chance that he will be hurt going outside - I have plenty of scars and broken bones of my own to prove it. I just have to keep reminding myself that I can;t protect him from everything for the rest of his life and the sooner he gains the confidence and knowledge that he can trust himself the better he will fare. Sometimes, It is just really had to let go of all the social and cultural junk we are told as parents - that we have to control and plan and anticipate everything and mitigate it somehow so that our children have the most disappointment-free childhood imaginable. I just wonder: what happens when they face challenges and disappointments in the future? What coping mechanisms and tools will I have given my son to deal with uncertainty?

Wow! That was a rambler. Sorry.

[TheSimplePoppy]

No need to apologize, Jaime, you bring up points most of us think about. I'll admit that I'm over-careful with my girls, often coming from a place of vague negativity (oh, something might happen!) rather than, "Let's have fun! Explore!" etc. I'm trying to correct that especially since I've seen how they will be so full of excitement over being in the woods or something and then I say, "Be careful!" and suddenly they seem unsure and more tentative. That kills me because I know I'm perpetrating an unfounded fear on them. I liked in the book where one mother said that rather than urging her daughter to be careful, she would tell her to "pay attention" (in a nice way, of course) so that it encompassed safety as well as exploring. I really like that and intend to use it with my kids.

I think we are taught to be over-controlling as well as over informed these days. Sometimes too much information gets in the way of natural intuition - especially when being a parent. I don't believe in setting my kids up for disappointment, but if it happens normally, I don't try to shield them or automatically come up with something to make it better. At some point, they must learn to regulate how they feel about things and I don't want to take that away from them. I want to support them while they learn, I guess. Of course, it's difficult to do!

I was doing well with the TV thing until the toddler stopped napping. She then morphed into a really unbelievable mess right at the time of day that is my busiest, dinnertime. I've ended up letting her watch way more than I should just to get through it without an hour long meltdown, and while I don't like it, I also don't know what to do about it. I guess that's the story of being a parent! Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Jaime, now I've produce a rambler too.

[Aminah]

Yes! What great memories! I did the same thing. In fact, I remember packing food to bring along on my daily activities, then hopping on my bike to ride all over the neighborhood and play in the woods at the end of the street. We used to play "lost children" and have a blast! Then we'd check back in around lunch and be off until dinner, then back out again until bed time!